After putting my daughter on the bus yesterday, I had myself a meltdown. I stood in my kitchen, watching cars go by, while shaking and sobbing. I am truly scared to send my 9-year-old to public school.

A part of me wants to believe that school shootings, like the recent shooting in Florida, are rare. Since starting school, my daughter has been on lock-down twice because there was a gunman in the area. When I was a senior in high school, gunshots were fired in our hallway. It’s not as rare as I wish it was.

Thoughts start coursing through my brain like; maybe, it’s time to homeschool. That’s still a thought that I’ve been praying through. Children are being murdered in their classroom. It’s hard to avoid the morbid thought: what if it was my child? I also have friend who are teachers. I start to wonder if they ever going to have to become human shields to protect their students? Will they too leave behind spouses and babies to save a classroom full of first graders?

As school staff, students, and families are grieving…we debate. That’s what Americans do best: argue. You see the hashtags like #guncontrolnow. You see the other side of the political spectrum post about getting armed security inside the schools. You see posts filled with anger, but that anger is being directed at people like me: conservatives and Christians. On the other hand, the conservatives are saying a big “I told you so”. This is what happens when you don’t let teachers conceal and carry, as if this gives them bragging rights. All the while, hearts are broken. Families are grieving. We need God to heal our land.

Churches may host a vigil after the fact, but I fear that’s not enough. Our nation is hurting, saints. She’s hurting bad. The most vulnerable among us, our children, are dying. Through school shootings and abortion…how many more children have to die before we open our eyes? At what point will the saints of God stand up and say enough.

We are to be light in the darkness and we’re failing. We know that hope is only found in Christ, yet we won’t point people to Him. Why? We don’t want to offend? What’s the alternative? Sit back, continue to watch our nation crumble. I’m sure I’ll be accused of Jesus-juking and I don’t care. The only hope for America is the hope and peace of Christ.

Go, saints. Go do the Kingdom work. Go. Go proclaim the Gospel. Stop being so scared. God will be with you the entire time. Be light in this darkness. Love those around you. Keep pointing them to Christ. Show them that you have a peace and joy that is different. We need to be light in this darkness. We need to be the salt of the world.

If not us…than who?

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